Tuesday, May 12, 2015

人生目标

久违了的部落格,好就都没有写心情了
现在的我已经在澳洲毕业回马了,
也工作了十个月
最进的我很想每天黏着那亲爱的
开始觉得自己好像没有方向,
我的人生目标是什么呢?
我在问我自己
难道就每天只要黏着男友过日子吗?
这样跟费人没有差别哦
不久后我就会回家乡帮哥哥管理公司
坦白说那工资不够我的花费
我的目标是什么?
我又在问我自己

从小惯样的我,应该要好好想想我的未来了
家人不能永远让我靠
虽然以后我会有自己的家庭,有老公
但是我那亲爱的不喜欢我没志气
我不想让他觉得我没用
一直以来我希望自己有自己的事业
间中帮忙老工的事业也
我想成为我老工的骄傲,也不想浪费了父母给了我的教养
所以,我的目标是什么?
我真的必须好好想想了...

任性,霸道,自我的我要改变了
x

Thursday, August 22, 2013

My thought of being study overseas

After finish this semester, i am counted to being study in Perth for almost 2 years. What is my thought of being able to study overseas and how can i overcome my homesick and boyfriend'sick?haha...
Study overseas is actually one of my dream when i was a kids, i keep telling myself if i got the opportunity to study oversea, wherever it is, i must go for it.
Indeed, i had achieved it. After another semester i will be graduated and i will be an official oversea graduated student. I am not showing off that am a oversea student, but i am just proud to myself that i had achieved my dream which lots people may couldn't even to think about. I am cherish and glad that i have this opportunity to do so, the most thankful person that i have to thanks to is my dad, he is the one who give the opportunity to me to go for my dream and i keep telling myself no matter what was happened, i must finish my study here and i am doing hard to achieving it. Always telling myself "Gambateh Jenell, you can do it!" to motivated myself. It do really works though. lol...

Homesick?Boyfriendsick?
It is unavoidable...whenever i back from Malaysia for my holidays, surely i will homesick and boyfriend sick because i am going to be alone again in here!
Sometimes, i do really worried is my boyfriend is going to leave me? Why he didnt find me?What am i suppose to talk with him?What is he doing? etc etc....lots lots question running in my mind. Undeniable, sometime i do really less confidence in keeping a relationship. However, i believed in my boyfriend, thats i believe that we could go through this long distance relationship's hard time. Trust do really important in this long-distance relationship. So, whenever the less confidence Jenell pop-up, i will  pushing her far far far far away to build back my confidence. Lol... 
Anyway, study oversea is fun and experienced. I believe through succeed you have to go through lots of frustration. 
Hey there...the naughty Boyfriend!!Are you looking at this? Must wait be back u know...dont act naught there, if not you will know....lol...
He must be proud of me if i am graduated!!!hehe...
Love him always...muackss
And my family...I'll be back very soon!!!

XOXO
Till then...

Picture took in Rottnest Island@Perth....I miss beach!!




Friday, August 16, 2013

Hope to work!!!

Its been almost 3 weeks i back in Perth from Malaysia. Continuing boring and drama day everyday after class...Start feeling 'sien' when the life keep going like this, it seems like wasting my time although there are assignment to go during this semester, but then i still got lots extra time to spend and i really hope i could able to get a job here in Perth.
Everyday dreaming about getting a job, earning extra pocket money then i would able to get more things that i wish to have such as bagssss, shoesssss,clothessss and another thing is ask my boy come to visit me then we can go for a vacation. How good it will be....just if i can get a job!!
Oh God...can you please help me to make this dream come true?I promise that in the same time i will study hard...really hope that i can get a part-time job here....
God Bless Me!!!

By the way...miss my boy!!!^^

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Sometimes

Sunday          11/08/13           

今天一个人去city走了半天
from 9:30 to 4:00
好久好久
自己吃早餐
自己吃午餐
就自己一个人做了想做的事
很奇怪的
走着走着想起了上次爸爸妈妈姐姐和dear来的时候
心情开始低落了起来
想起上次他们来的时候没有带到他们去很多地方
想起当时自己怎样对待dear
心里很难受
为什么当时没有留着很好的回忆给他们
很心痛因为可以想象到当时dear dear的心情
真的很对不起
现在变成一个人走回曾经跟他们一起走过的地方
我~很想家!
我很想回到有dear dear在身边
有家人在身边的日子
但是我知道不能
我必须忍着
好想哭~但是当时站在巴士站
我不能
想家的时候
我一直告诉自己只要读好书顺利毕业后就可以回去了
心情不好的时候我总是一个人
自己说服自己不要难过

试着想告诉dear
但是他总是那么多节目
有时,真的只是有时
还蛮埋怨他
为什么那么的不会关心我
很想告诉他我也需要人陪
不要把我当女人
maybe sometimes把我当成一个女孩
一个需要他来关心和爱护的女孩
just sometimes
他会知道吗?

自己还是忍不住流了眼泪
有时就想让自己软弱一点
不用那么坚强
一直告诉自己
这条出国留学的路是自己选的
无论怎样都要坚持
要完成它

但~有时...
sometimes...
i just hope someone can understand my feeling
and always encourage me that i can do it
and say he is always there for me...
No Matter What!!
Sometimes......

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Back to Perth again

05/08/2013

今天又是回perth的日子了
这次回来只有dear载我去机场
在这个月的假期充满了美好的回忆
跟家人,朋友,还有dear
跟哥哥,慧敏还有健去了槟城
傍晚跟他一起骑脚踏车还担心被狗追在那流眼泪
哈哈~我就是那么容易哭
因为太怕被狗追了,很恐怖😱
这次在家里我还蛮像阿4的咯
帮妈妈驾车上芙蓉
帮哥哥在早早6点驾车出去
帮姐姐做家务
等等~
但是很开心在这个假期里能够吃到我最爱的水果
《榴莲》
哈哈😄太幸福了
还好榴莲们很合作的在这期间掉落
每次去dear的家除了找他
另外就是拾榴莲和吃榴莲
因为deardear的家有榴莲树
所以可以一直吃
哈哈哈
还有还有
男朋友在这期间做了我的四人司机
😄
载我去东南西北
而且很少怨言呢!
我是幸福的女孩👧
几乎每天都跟男朋友黏在一起
虽然他脾气还是很臭
每天都嫌我肥 但是却都叫我吃吃吃
其实他很疼我很爱我的
嘻嘻

临离开家前
心情开始难过
一直想哭但是却努力的在忍
我以为我可以忍到踏出家里的大门
但是在跟爸爸妈妈哥哥姐姐道别后
走出家门眼泪就甭提了
妈妈还特地走出来送我
看见我哭还说我还像小孩
哈哈😄
无所谓啦~我泪水太多
偶尔要这样流一流
抱抱妈妈后就跟dear出发到机场了
在这里还哭个不停
看得出deardear好像很心疼
很舍不得我
其实我也超级舍不得的
但是没有办法
这条读书的路是我选的
在飞机场的时候deardear还掏钱给我买东西
(相同的事情又发生了)
临跟他道别时
眼泪又流出来了
好舍不得他

dear,我很快会再回来
要等我哦!
你要努力做工
我要努力读书
我们又梦想要一起实现哦

p/s: 跟他打赌谁再下一次见面瘦了5kg就有礼物🎁
所以本人在努力的减肥了!!
😄希望会成功


(5.30小时的飞机后)

早上5点多到了机场
hmm~
很想念我的他
在这里又回到孤孤单单的生活
每人陪我到处走
没有的见他
没有的看他可爱的酒窝和漂亮的唇形
他会不会跟我想念他一样的想念我叻?
也想念我的妈妈,侄儿侄女
每天早上当我人形闹钟吵醒我
真的好想念他们哦
又要等多4个月的时间才能见到他们了
我等。。。

Thursday, July 11, 2013

It's been awhile

现在的我,人在家乡
因为又放假了哦
嘻嘻
要聊什么呢?不知道~就只是想单纯的分享一些事情
这次回来认识了多一班男朋友的朋友
大家都很好很搞笑,都是同样hometown的人
很高兴能够认识他们

上个星期六是跟男朋友复合后最生气和失望的一天
他原本答应要带我去club的
但是最后却自己去
很失望是因为他放我飞机
而且让我感觉到以前的他的影子(分手前)
看见我很难过但是他还是可以自己去玩(自私)
感觉到他变得玩心很大
有时自己在想‘我不能怪他,因为是我惹出来的’
因为上次的分离他出去玩多了
久而久之变得很爱玩
但是大家都是成年人了
应该要分得清楚玩和认真的时间
不想看见他变本加厉
是我自己想太多吗?我觉得这次回来看见的他有以前的影子
其实很怕~不想要同样的事情再发生
我也一直很努力的劝自己不要想那么多
但是,人是不是久了都会变样?

还是一样的
自己还是很自卑;没有很好的身材~
还是缺乏安全感;总总原因
还是很信任他;就算偶尔会怀疑(在所难免)
我还是一样告诉自己
是我的就是我的
只要我做到最好给他就好了

这一次如果可以,我想就这样两个人一直到永远
他偶尔发发脾气,发牢骚,emo
不带我出去等等
但是心里还是有我
看见我不开心会哄我
看见我伤心会逗我
看见我失望会鼓励我
看见因为他我变得难过会认错
两个人一起生活不是件简单的事
亲爱的,i am looking forward to our's future
i hope you can love me until the world ended
and i love you!!

p/s:下个星期17号出成绩!希望全部顺利通过!!!